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I’m not even gonna lie, this picture defines my life in the current stream of time right about now. I’ve been having epiphanies these past six months or so, and the more revelations I encounter, the more I’m actually getting to know myself better as a person. I’ll admit my choices of entertainment has definitely contributed to why I am the way that I am. Who I associate myself with on the job, in the family, random strangers, even in the congregation, everything plays a part in something. I keep rereading the same chapters of things I’ve gone through in the past-most of them bad, and I keep wondering why my life sucks right now. Still bitter over not having a mate, staying in the ghetto, not having a better paying job, missing the things I briefly had and things I’ve never touched before. And this bitter pill that I now have to swallow is I’ve let my spiritual guard down and let myself be attached to the spirit of this world rather than the spirit of God. It’s weird that these past few entries that I’ve exposed myself on my blog as far as my beliefs go for both obvious (and private) reasons. But I feel the need to bare my soul to purge myself of years-decades, even-of baggage that I let weigh me down. Realizing that I’m not that wild maverick I used to be, I am forcing myself to view change in life as needed. It’s even gotten to the point where I want change.

I recently read on Pinterest a quote from Charlie Chaplin: “Nothing in this world is permanent, not even your troubles.” Absolute truth to say the least. After hearing that, it’s hard for me to close these chapters, but I am aware-thanks to family and friends-that if I close these chapters, for good, I might add, things will look so much better with the new ones. And I even told myself out loud yesterday “if you give up these sensual desires”… Desires such as those of a worldly, even a fleshly source, “then God will open your eyes to far better things.” And that’s what I really want, better out of life before and after Armageddon.

I am thankful to Jehovah for his patience with me in these matters so far. We received a revised bible in recent months, so now would be a good time to break it in (again). Perhaps if I read it with more seriousness, a lot of the goings-on in the world will make much more sense, and I’ll have more time for God instead of these temporary pleasures that result in emptiness!

Psalms 37:4
Proverbs 3:5 & 6, 4:23
Matthew 6:33
Philippians 4:6-8, 13

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