I am a womb twin survivor!

I know that I have brought this subject up more times than necessary in recent years.  And unfortunately, this particular subject still remains either questioned, or worse, ignored.  Even by parents of womb twin survivors have difficulty comprehending such an issue.  Me being a twin/twinless twin/womb twin survivor.  But ironically, those who are of a multiple birth-such as myself-are perhaps the only ones who can understand it.  But growing up twinless remains both a blessing, and a curse for me, even as I approach 40.  For as long as I can remember, I always wondered why I went through the things I’d gone through.  Constant abuse by friends, coworkers, and even family, yeah I went there.  It seems to me that in forty years of life I went through more maledictions than blessings in life.  And I was wondering why I kept crying all the time, became obsessive with both life and death, why I always held back from expressing my true emotions to people wishing that I had the “testicular fortitude” to just let ‘em have it without any fear of the consequences, constant loneliness, had no one to talk to, fend for me and vice versa, it was just mind boggling to me all these years.

I could go on and on about what my life has consisted of.  I was a loner then, and I remain one now.  I have mentioned that my mother was pregnant with two boys, and sadly one of us made it.  Other than my twin, I have no other siblings, which leaves me the only child despite the fact that my birth certificate says “twin”.  I’d take that one step further; only surviving child at that!  I still say that I’m a twin (which I am), and I still say that I came from all boys (which I did).  To this day, I’ll talk to anyone who’d listen to me on this subject.  And I gotta admit, even at my age, as entertaining as it may be on occasion, it gets real redundant and even depressing sometimes.  But for years I was wondering why my grades were down most of the time in school, why it was hard for me to concentrate, why I had so many problems in life such as stuttering, and not knowing how to react when I’m being slighted.  Even my own relatives made me into their punching bag when things didn’t go their way, and yet people wonder why I’m to myself, at the same same time emotionless towards some folks in the world, be it friends, coworkers, family, even girlfriends.  For a long time I have borne resentment because I begged my mother to have more children, but being the Christian that she was and is, she was following Biblical standards to remain celibate until she remarried seeing that she had divorced my dad at the time.  And no longer having both parents under the same roof had made things even more complicated, if not confusing.  It was around that time (maybe some months later), that mom had revealed to me that there was another child in the family, but sadly, even before both of us was born, he was dead before then which-little did I know at the time-would have a very profound effect on my existence for decades to come.  Again, I could ramble on about the negatives on the subject, but I have noticed these things about growing up twinless; most things I’d do, I’d do in doubles, even to this very day.  I live the lives of two, eat for two, think for two, drink for two, even talk for two!  Most things that I do, say, and even think of are double because I make up for, or feel the need to, anyway, this longtime deficit that has been a part of me these past four decades.  I mentioned earlier that being twinless was both a blessing and a curse.  I’ve pretty much harped on the curse(s), and I got some stories to tell, too!  But now time to reveal the blessings of being such…

Even though my brother didn’t have a chance to see this world, I did!  And that’s something to brag about.  And it could’ve been worse, mom told me had he lived, he would’ve ended up being severely retarded, and that might’ve made things worse because we’d have to give him constant attention which would’ve drained all of our energy and resources.  Had he lived, we might’ve been conjoined (siamese), one of us would’ve been the good twin, the other, the evil one.  At least I didn’t have any extra limbs attached to me.  I thought about Andy Garcia just now as I wrote this.  Even though my twin didn’t survive, I still feel his spirit in me sometimes.  That’s the “connection” amongst multiples down to this day.  And according to the Bible’s promise of a resurrection, I hope to be reunited with him again.  So I have that hope as well as opportunity.  And another ironic thing about all this is that when I interact with those who are twins, I feel an instant “chemistry” with them most times.  Be they young or old, I can identify with my fellow twins.  What’s surreal about all this is that I tell folks that I’m a twin, yet the only evidence of it is on my birth certificate!  And BTW, I’m the oldest of the two, the Alpha Male of the bunch!  So in the new world, it’s gonna be some big brother/little brother action the way it was supposed to be to begin with!  So despite this longtime void that I’ve inherited, the only good thing so far is that-depending on me between now and Armageddon-is that this is all temporary.  The video below, for me, uncovered a lot of unlocked secrets about being a twin survivor.  And for a long time, I thought I was dealing with a case of either OCD, ADD/ADHD, I may have ‘em, who knows?!?  Right now, I’m trying to live better at 39 than I have for the past three decades.


The NEW Homestead!

For the second time in ten years, I am once again a suburbanite, and a homeowner. At times I still miss Mt. Clemens, but this is doing me justice living here in Saint Clair Shores. The cops don’t play, my insurance dropped like a stone (Thank God for that), it’s peaceful and quiet, and things are accessible despite having to get to some of them in a very convoluted way. I am thankful that I have this place. I’ll never again take God’s grace for granted!


Lost In My Thoughts

As I write this entry, I reflect on the transitions that are taking place in my life right now. I’ve been very dormant as far as doing real photography is concerned. The bad weather we’ve had since this year began, then Mary died after a series of heart problems, which made me shut down for quite some time. We had TWO District Conventions at Ford Field here in Detroit-both were international, so I had the privilege of shooting pictures of our international delegates from distant parts of the globe. Go to http://www.jw.org and see for yourself.

Other events that took place had seemed to impede the path that I really wanna take down the road to being successful in life. I lost my job after 20 years (19 to be exact), got into an accident (rear-ended), my grandmother passed, and so far the only thing that’s keeping me sane is going from door-to-door preaching God’s truth to whoever has a willing and listening ear. And while we are advertising the JW.org website, some congregations had run out of tracts to publish while others had stacks of them! It’s all good, either way. Another transition that’s on the horizon is that I am seriously considering going into business for myself be it insurance, eBay, or even my photography. After 20 years of doing the same thing, I could use something different. Thing is, it’s gonna be an entirely different atmosphere. I have to put in the work, cover taxes, keep track if every penny that I spend, etc.. It’s all up to me if it’s to be! That said, being a JW, talking to folks is a no-brained most of the time, so it’s the discipline that I need to work on the most. I’ve been making that a serious matter if prayer as of late. As the Bible says (as I quote from King James); “…ye have not because ye ask not…” So with so much on the brain right now, it’s real easy to be lost in thought right now, but I’m gradually getting myself back on track.


Left Hander’s Day!

As you well know, I do not celebrate any of the holidays, but in this case, one would make an exception. This iconic international day in honour of the lefties, the southpaws, the cack handed, the “Devil’s Side”, if you will. Originally observed on August 13, 1976 for left handers in a right handed society. It was also created to promote awareness of the inconveniences that lefties face in a mostly orthodox environment. And me being left handed but forced right, I had to adapt spending years being something that I was never meant to be in the first place. But as the years went on as I’ve gotten older, I’ve begun-and still do in reference to other things-to gravitate towards the left. I could delve further about my backstory in all this, but let’s just say that a certain family member of mine, I don’t see in the same light anymore, but that’s another story altogether!

Let us move on!

I posted the image above on my Instagram page, and it blew up immediately! It’s been said that lefties make up about 10% of this world’s population. Thankfully, although I found out about my left handedness so late in life, I am a part of that ten percent. I would not doubt that number would be more due to persons born left handed but were forced to be right handed. Some, like me, ended up being ambidextrous, the ability to use both. But in spite of what I’ve went through, I still claim my left-handedness for two reasons: 1) I was born as such to begin with, and 2) I am a twin, my brother (God rest his soul) and I were fraternal, so one of us was gonna be left handed, and the other, right handed. With that being said, that gave me all the more reason to take back what was taken from me. So as I commemorate this day in observation if left handedness in a right handed society, I take my part in supporting anything that deals with the use of what’s falsely referred to as “Sinister”, “The Devil’s Side”, as well as any other BS myth that downs the use of the left hand! One fact that I know personally to be the truth: Left Handers are the most creative, artistic, outspoken, even athletic people on this earth! Thankfully with the awareness that we have today, the current generation of lefties won’t have to go through the crap we went through. God forbid we still have some idiot parents who go by those non-biblical, mythical lies about left handed people.



Time Waits For NO ONE!

I’ll just make this as brief as I possibly can.  With grandma’s passing earlier this week, and going through some things (I won’t reveal what they are just yet), let’s just say that the pace has picked itself up and me along with it.  I’ve said before that this year had been one of closure, and I have a lot of closed chapters to share in brief the chain of events that have taken place since this year began.  Even though I am currently unemployed, I’ve been blessed in as well as with other things.  I may be moving soon, I have one more year of school left, still don’t know how I’m gonna finance it, but I wanna get this final year (and some change) out the way ASAP!  I had my car fixed, I cut my losses with Detroit Public Schools after 20 years of being with them.  And that was a big mess that I got caught up in with Sodexo in 2011, and it’s gotten worse now.  So if any of my former DPS/Sodexo/Powerlink/Aramark coworkers have returned, I wish them all well.  And it’s a huge mess that’s gonna get worse.  So peace of mind was my first priority.  

With all that being said, as time marches forward, I’m marching along with it, and I’ve gotten this sudden itching to go “shooting” again.  But with Mary gone, that void still remains quite large, but nothing compared to my grandmother.  Moral is, if there’s anything you wish to do in life, NOW is the time.  Case in point:  In recent years, My grandmother as well as Mary had moved on to greener pastures north of 8 Mile Rd.  While their stay was short-lived, it was one of peace and serenity to say the least.


R.I.P., Grandma

Wow. First I lose a close friend earlier this year, and now a family member. My grandmother, Margaret C. Jones, has passed away earlier this week. She was 86. Whilst time will not permit me to go into detail about her nine decades on this earth, but I can say these few things about her. She was the youngest of two children, she survived the Great Depression, married her first and only husband, also deceased, my grandfather a few years after WWII, and brought two children into the world, and four grandchildren she has gotten to see come into the world. And I’m the oldest of the grandchildren. There would’ve been seven of us, but some of the babies were either miscarried or stillborn. Let’s just say that I look forward to seeing both my grandparents AND the three grand babies who didn’t make it into the world in the promised new world by Jesus Christ at John 5:28, 29 and Revelation 21:3, 4.



No other way to express this other than the changes I’ve been going through since this year began. As we enter into the final third as well as final quarter of 2014 come September, I am tempted to do a year in review, but I’m gonna wait until the year’s end for that! With that being said, all I can really say is that 2014 has thus far definitely been a year of closure for me personally. Old doors closed, final chapters written, in some cases, the period is FINALLY at the end of the sentence. All I can really say is that I’m beginning to be more appreciative of what I have instead of what I don’t have. Long story short, I still have a heavy burden, especially being unemployed, and wondering how I’m gonna stay afloat. But the advice that Jesus gave at Matthew 6:33 was very comforting as well as sobering where he urged his followers to “keep on, then, seeking first the kingdom, and his righteousness, and all these other things will be added to you.” Again, that said, I haven’t went hungry, I still have a roof over my head, I still have a car to drive, still have clothes to wear, still breathing, still walking about as I please. A part of me misses my job of 20 years, but that’s one of the closed chapters in my book! As I write this journal for today, so many things are on the brain, and this is but one of the channels that I use to put them out as well as iron them out old-school style with pen and paper.

Almost a month ago, I turned 39. I have come across the painful realization that I have another year or two-depending on how you view the number line-of summer left! So come age 40, or 41, I will be in the autumn stage of my life, and there are so many things that I have yet to accomplish in life. While the list is too long to go over, the very best that I can do now is whatever is it is that I plan to do, do it now, and do it fast! I guess I’ve been afraid of what I could really do with my gifts. In recent months I have posted videos that I made with Windows Movie Maker on my YouTube page, and when I got the feedback that I’ve gotten, the more I’m being pressured into trying Multi Media. So many gifts that I have right now, and I can only utilize a few of them, but which ones, I don’t know!

I really think that my being a twin has something to do with why I have so many gifts. When one dies, the other inherits all the gifts.

So they say!



It’s been awhile since I blogged about some goings-on in our Metro Detroit area. This particular store in suburbia was no different. Formerly Damman’s Hardware adjoining with the former Jacobson’s Children’s Store, this upscale furniture store on Kercheval and St Clair was worth taking a few shots of. I introduced myself to Renee, one of the associates there, and we hit it off immediately. I asked questions about the store and how it operated. She did mention one thing that threw me off, though. The sections in the store were arranged by color, the shade and texture of the color all around the store. They had some furniture as well as patterns for upholstery and even flooring! It’s only been around a good month or so, and already the clientele is off the charts. I even offered my services in case they need a photographer in the not so distant future. Hopefully we will cross paths again.




39: Summer’s Ending…

Earlier this month, I’ve turned 39. Another year I’ve lived on earth with only a few regrets. I do not celebrate my birthday for religious reasons, and another reason why is because every July 14 I’m reminded of two things: My mother gave birth to two boys on that day, and yet only one of them made it. Every now and then I look at my birth certificate and think to myself; “…the possibilities”. That being said, on both sides, there’s gonna be a family reunion between siblings in the new world, God willing. As I’ve said before, I’ve got to be patient and wait.

As I reflect on this final stage in my third decade of life, I think about the things that I really want to do now that I’m currently unemployed after 20 years on the same job. I must confess, this year alone has been of of closure so far since it began. While the list remains very long and there’s only a little over four months left in 2014, it’s been a very bumpy ride. But as always, when one door closes, another one opens. I’ve gotten closure with a lot of things that are no longer in my control in recent months. That said, whenever something painful creeps into my mind, be it something I did or something I let someone do to me, I have to remind myself that what’s done is done, and it’s water under the bridge. At 39, I can cry in my beer for so long. I’ve come to the realization that it’s time to move on and let things go.

Now that I have a clean slate, and am in a position to start over and do new things, and finish other things that I’ve started.


Creating Memories One Click At A Time. Photographer from Detroit, JW, Late 30s, Ambidextrous (originally born left-handed), proud Twinless Twin, Tumblr Addict, I use Wordpress to document the goings-on of my daily life come to find out that it's a form of therapy and stress relief. Writer and poet, iPhone snob/elitist. Keep reading for my latest adventures. For some fun stuff, including my writings and poetry, go to: www.jvlivs.tumblr.com. For my professional photography, check out: www.jvlivsphotography.tumblr.com. I'm looking forward to meeting you on the WWW!


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